Instinctually, we all base our perceptions of others by what we first see.  But that isn’t where the real attraction lay.  Sure, you can live in the trendiest neighborhood, have multiple homes around the world, have the ultimate job, the sexiest life, make millions of dollars, go on exotic vacations, and dud yourself out with eclectic style.  But if you haven’t developed a strong magnetic mindset you probably have a zero personality and even fewer friends.

Here are some simple ways to amp your attraction meter ratings to something a little better:

1. Lead a flourishing life. This is the most powerful attraction factor by far: create more, be more, do more, grow more, have more, give more freely in every area of your life rather than struggle and react like a victim of circumstance. It’s that simple.
2. Be real, but then keep growing. Stop social modeling by imitating images you see in the media. Oscar Wilde puts it succinctly, ‘Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.’ Forgive and accept your past, your shortcomings and where you have failed with others.  Fix those areas one by one. See your own goodness and beauty. Build it out. Take a piece of paper and write down all of your characteristics you can think of, both good and bad.  Be brutally honest.  Then take another piece of paper and write down all of the characteristics you want to have—in other words, draw the picture of who you want be.  Let go of the things on the first list, and start taking actions to become the person you want to be.
3. Show genuine interest in others by listening. Two ears, but only one mouth. The other person is trying to convey a message to you.  Stop waiting for a pause in the conversation to inject your personal opinion.  Listen to understand, not to respond.  It’s okay to check in to keep the flow of the conversation going, or to repeat a thought back.  It demonstrates that you are paying attention.  Every counselor knows that one of the basic needs of a person is to be heard. Be that person. Really listen so the other person will eventually get his/her thoughts across to you.
4. Stop complaining. No one wants to be around a human complaint department.  Confide in the person that can actually help you solve your problem.  Broadcasting your ills to the world will kill your personal Nielson ratings, cancel your show—and your sales.  Work on being positive.  Positivity can calm negativity like a reset button.  Keep transforming the negative into a blessing or opportunity as the challenges arise daily. Strive to see the light and buoyant positivity in the situation at hand. Positivity sparkles with good feelings drawing others toward you.
5. Believe in yourself and gain confidence. Confidence is the secret sauce to success and the can-do attitude.  Being confident makes you more likely to find other confident and successful people. This will not only open up new opportunities, but you will also find that your own goals and plans will start to become bigger and you’ll be capable of pushing relentlessly working to achieve more. In time you will gradually exude more self-assurance and a stronger belief in yourself. Keep it all in check so you don’t morph into an arrogant Superman complex.
6. Make long-term friendships. A long-term relationship is based on love, intimacy, passion and commitment. The intimacy portion of love is that of friends; you enjoy spending time together, and have grown rather close strictly within the realms of “personality attraction.” Although physical attraction is necessary in any relationship, this feeling does not need to be acted upon right away without full fulfillment of the intimacy aspect. The passion and fire aspect of attraction can attribute to many distortions and relationship losses. For example, if you rush head-first into passion without considering the needs of a new friend, somebody is going to end up hurt. Rushing screams neediness and an attitude that “it’s all about me”, not the long-term friendship. The final, and equally important aspect of making long-term friendships work is that of commitment. (ew!) That means making a conscious choice to remain with this person for an extended period of time.
7. Be a nicer person and become a little Mensch-kin. Mensch is a Yiddish word that connotes a person who is admired, respected, and trusted because of a sense of ethics, fairness, and nobility.  Do something really nice for someone you know, but altruistically, with no intention of ever having the favor returned.  Be sure you do it to sincerely help them and not just to position yourself in their good graces.

Too much to do? Then here is a very simple way to get it right. Smile. Be kind and gracious as often as possible, and do it in a way so moving that it inspires other people to want to do it for another person. That’s really what being a powerful people magnet is all about.